How to make your relationship work: Secrets you never knew
So this is an old article i wrote a while back which was featured on Post Nigeria and thought to repost. Enjoy!!!
Sometimes, being in a relationship may not be easy. It is easier judging from the outside than judging from the inside. That’s why sometimes you may see some relationships that look so great from afar, the guy is proclaiming the love he has for her on Instagram all year long and you are thinking of how perfect they look together.
Meanwhile on the inside behind closed doors, he uses her as a punching bag. Sincerely there is no written rule to how to make your relationship work but there are a few things you can look out for when your relationship is on the rocks.
1. Don’t broadcast your relationship on social media: Now this is so common amongst youngsters. In this case, you are showing the whole world what you are about. When we are in love, we want everyone to know it. Now, there is nothing wrong with that because the true feeling of love is indescribable. But at the same time, not everyone is happy to hear your success or what he bought for you. Some people smile at you on the outside and don’t really care about you deep inside them. The truth is, when this happens, your life becomes their entertainment.
2. Do not listen to gossip: This is mostly for those who have popular boyfriends. You are on your own and someone calls you and says “Hey Lola, I saw your boyfriend with one girl”, I heard this, I heard that etc. Now, I am not insinuating you play deaf to everything you hear because you might just be the one to be laughed at, at the end of the day. But do not listen to everything you hear. A perfect instance is that there was a day I was with my friend and her boyfriend all day and while I was there, and my friend got a text that her boyfriend was with another girl. Now those are the kind of problems you might face when dating popular man. Close your ears to false rumours. This leads me to the next point.
3. Trust your partner: True love is based on trust. When you trust your partner, you and your partner can go a long way. This can save your relationship from turning sour. When you trust your partner, you can tell the difference between a false advice and a good one. Trust goes a long way.
Do not go to bed upset with each other: When you have an argument with your partner, try to make peace before bedtime. If you think this is difficult, ask yourself this question, ‘if he dies in his sleep, will I forgive myself for the rest of my life?’ Don’t make a small problem look so big when you know it’s not. Never go to bed upset with your partner.
4. Avoid third-parties: Whenever you have issues with your partner, avoid seeking advice from a third-party. This causes a lot of damage in relationships. Do not go running to his parents to report your partner when things go wrong. Avoid talking to friends and giving them too much information about your relationships. People are advised wrongly and causes a major strain that cannot be fixed. Maybe once in a while you can but don’t go running to other people when you have a problem with your partner. You are the one in the relationship not them.
5. Honesty is the best policy: Always be honest to your partner. You do not want to be in a relationship based on lies. No matter how difficult the truth might be, make sure you always say the truth. You might be surprised at what you partner can forgive.
6. Learn to forgive: One of the primary ways for your relationship to work is to learn to forgive. Forgiveness goes a long way. Do not hold on to things that would hurt you. No one is perfect. In relationships, there would be days when you argue and quarrel. Not every day is rosy but what makes the difference is your willingness to let things go and go back to being happy which takes me to my next point.
Learn to apologise: When you offend your partner, you should learn to apologise to your partner. Don not let arrogance set in. Say sorry when you are supposed to.
7. Do not repay evil for evil: We all know that two wrongs don’t make a right. Repaying evil with evil is never a good option for anyone let alone two people in a relationship.
8. Be prayerful: After all these, we are still human beings and we are not perfect. There is no one who does not have flaws. Whether you are a Muslim or a Christian or any other religion you practice, pray to God to guide you and your partner in your relationship.
Advice to everyone, live everyday like it’s your last especially with the ones you love. Not everyone is lucky to fall in love twice in a lifetime.
So if you have a good person, hold on to what you have and don’t let go.
Have a lovely weekend!